The Trials of Loving an Alcoholic
Alcoholism can tear a love relationship apart. It’s also a disease of denial, hence the famous phrase the elephant in the living room. Many psychics can attest to getting information that their client’s partner has an addiction problem, although the client might deny it.
The client can reject their adviser’s message all they want; however, there is a reason the psychic is getting visions of bottles of booze or bar stools.
Ten warning signs someone has a drinking problem
- Drinks every day, even if it’s just beer.
- Pokes fun at nondrinkers.
- Only will go out to places that serve alcohol.
- A regular customer at the local pub.
- The person binge drinks whenever he/she consumes alcohol, this can be weekends only or even once a month.
- Is irritable when sober.
- Becomes another person when drunk, whether that’s mean or pleasant.
- Their drinking is having negative effects on their work and home life.
- Drinks alone.
- Blacks out.
Impossible to have a healthy relationship
Do you see the difference between social drinking and alcoholism? Singles, observe if your date has any of the ten warning signs, if they do – run! You don’t deserve that drama, especially at the beginning of a new relationship. When you love a person who has an addiction to alcohol, it’s impossible to have a healthy relationship with them for you will always be second to booze.
Please note that you do NOT have the power to make anyone sober, your lover may temporarily stop to get you off their back; nonetheless, in a few days, weeks, or months your partner will return to their God – Alcohol. He or she needs to admit to having a problem, then be willing to take the steps to recovery.
Here’s what you do have power over:
- Take your own inventory of whether you could have a drinking problem.
- Meditate or journal to observe if you are trying to resolve past issues from an alcoholic parent, caretaker, sibling, or former love relationship.
- Attend Al-anon meetings.
- Find a counselor or therapist who specializes in alcoholism.
- Learn how to do tough love; hint – that’s what Al-anon and counseling is for.
- Move out if you’re living with a drunk.
- Start living your own life.
Let’s say you decide that this article is a crock and Pamela has no idea what’s she talking about. I honor your decision to be educated in the lessons of alcoholism, you may need to learn: accepting abusive behavior, walking on eggshells, watching how much money can be spent on booze, experiencing the letdown of them going off the wagon, observing your mate destroying their potential, and living a horrible life. If you’re one of the fortunate one, your partner will discover sobriety.
(READ: Stop Getting Hurt by Untrustworthy Men)
Pamela’s Verdict
You see, I, Pamela, not only know what I’m talking about, but lived it close to thirty years ago. I was so-called “in love” and lived with an alcoholic for almost two miserable years of my life. Intuitively, I knew that if I stayed with this man I would die. Or I could take the difficult road of leaving him, discovering who I was, and learning to love myself. Obviously, I choose the latter, thank God! If I can do it, then you can do it, too.
Pamela Cummins is a relationship expert who teaches you how to empower yourself to empower your relationships. She is the author of four books, including Psychic Wisdom on Love and Relationships.
Yes I have questions have someone who drink every day but he said he love me he afraid losing me I told him he needs to slow down of drinking when he get drinking he like to fight I don’t like that … I think he on the drugs to cause he friends told on him but I did come front him about it he keep lieing to me I tried of him lieing to me don’t know if he did cheat on me or what but when he went out he didn’t show up next days looking at me like I’m stupid ..I do care about him I don’t know what to doing with him