What Your Body Language Says About You
I have always considered body language the “big reveal” when it comes to what is really going on with people that is left unspoken. It is an unconscious action that very few are aware they are moving or holding their body in a certain way unless it is pointed out to them. Being aware of body language is an absolute necessity if you are in the arena of helping others through counseling, readings or therapies. You can learn a whole lot about a person by what they don’t say versus what is being communicated verbally and also increases your ability of intuition.
It is also believed that the body never lies and that if we want to know the truth about ourselves and others, then we should listen to what our bodies have to say. Anyone who has ever flirted with someone they are attracted to has probably, at one point in time or another, brushed their hands through their hair or found themselves leaning forward to get closer to that person. Someone feeling defensive will tend to cross their arms over their chest, while a person who wants to withhold something may look away when speaking.
It is said that when talking to a person the information that we receive can be broken down as:
10% from what the person actually says
40% from the tone and speed of voice
50% is from their body language
Body language clues that speak for themselves
- If someone lowers their head when complimented, they may be shy or timid or lack of confidence.
- Touching or tugging at one’s ear can indicate indecisiveness.
- Sincere smiles encompass the whole face, especially around the eyes. A false smile only engages the lips.
- Tilting one’s head can symbolize interest in something or someone.
- Overly tilted heads can be a sign of sympathy for the person or situation.
- Closing of eyes or pinching at the bridge of one’s nose is often done when making a negative evaluation.
- When a listener nods, this is usually a positive message and shows they are interested and paying attention.
- Excessive nodding can imply that the listener has lost interest but doesn’t want to be rude.
- Sticking out one’s chin toward you may show a defiant stance.
- Resting a hand on one’s cheek indicates they are thinking about what you have just said.
- Pushing back one’s shoulders shows making a stand of power and strength.
- Open arms means one is comfortable with being approached and willing to talk or communicate.
- Folded arms show there is a protection barricade between them and other people or their surroundings.
- Resting one’s arms behind the neck is being open to what is being discussed and interested in listening.
- Putting your hands on your hips can show eagerness and readiness and sometimes energetic aggression.
- Hips pushed forward when leaning back can be a suggestive gesture.
- When one sits with legs open and apart, they feel secure in their surroundings.
- If you cross your legs towards another person, you are showing interest in them versus in another direction.
- Bouncing your foot if your legs are crossed can show that you are bored or losing patience.
- The lowering of the eyes during conversation can convey fear, guilt or submission.
- One tends to blink more often if nervous or trying to evaluate someone else’s intentions.
- Eye contact is normally broken if someone feels insulted by another.
Susan Z’s Verdict
The above list could go on and on but I picked out the ones I thought would be helpful in communicating with a romantic partner, family, boss or co-worker. If you become observant to how someone is physically responding to you while they are talking or you talking to them, you will always be able to “hear” much more than is actually being said. It can help you guide your conversation in a direction that is positive for you and may also be helpful and enlightening to the person you are speaking with. You can even pick up energetic information about groups of strangers. One of my favorite pastimes is watching people at the airport and all the information their body language conveys about them.
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