When Friends And Family Don’t Like Your Romantic Partner

When Friends And Family Don’t Like Your Romantic Partner

Having experienced this situation personally, it is not a comfortable place to be in but hey, you’re in love, what do they know, right? Well sometimes the people that care about you think they know what is best for you and sometimes they don’t.

But in most cases, setting aside racial, ethnic or religious differences where you just have to do what’s right for you, if you have a situation where your friends and family really dislike the person you are romantically involved with, you might want to do a check list with yourself why you are with them. The people that have known you the longest and care deeply for you, may actually have some valid points.

Your critics may also be wrong and you see something in your romantic partner they just are not privy to, so cannot make a substantial support for their case. Perhaps they may not know you and your desires as well as they think.

If he treats you like a queen, loves you dearly and you just blend effortlessly and they can’t get it, here are some suggestions given by the experts that may help.

1. Talk to them in an open and honest way and ask them what they think your partner’s weaknesses are. What do they dislike or fear? In most cases, their objection to the person doesn’t deal with major issues. Generally, it is just a feeling they have about him. When you sincerely ask them to answer your questions, they will usually not be able to clearly express why they hate the person. Upon serious reflection, they might even change their minds.
2. Ask them what they think would happen to you if your relationship led to marriage. This way, they may reveal an agenda that you were unaware of.
3. Ask them what they think YOU want in a relationship. When you force them to look into what they feel will make you happy in a relationship, you will find out exactly what they think of you. Surprise! They may discover that you two are a good fit after all and at least give the relationship a chance. Sometimes it is just a generational difference of what a couple should look like or be.
4. Let them know that their opinions are important and you appreciate their concern.
5. Tell them your relationship might not be perfect, but you are genuinely happy.

Story continues below…

Love is blind

But what happens if your strongest critics have some valid points that you cannot defend. As the saying goes, love is blind. If they aren’t wrong, you will want to consider what they are seeing about his character that causes such a strong reaction with your family and friends. You may be completely unaware of his or her shortcomings.

For example: when I introduced my first husband to my father at 20 years of age, the first thing he said to me afterwards was; “That boy has a really bad temper, you can see it all over him and I fear for your physical safety.” Of course, I ignored his warnings, married him and he was right and I paid dearly for them, eventually divorcing.

Here are a few things to take into consideration when they have a strong resistance to who you are partnering with and there might be some soundness to it.

1. The days of arranged marriages and dowries have faded into history. But, twenty-first century parents still want to be involved with their children’s life choices. They respect your independence but they want to protect you…sometimes from yourself and your rose-colored glasses. Take their concerns with value and respect.
2. They want to know: Is your significant other good to you? Does he or she have an abusive streak? Does he or she have little respect for you and your family and friends? If the answer to any of those questions is yes, it would be smart to listen to the critics.
3. If, on the other hand, your parents are more concerned about your significant other’s station in life, ethnic background or his future financial plans, you may want to let the criticism roll off your back. What counts is that you love the person and how you two want to live your lives.

(READ: Who Are You Attracted To: Nice Guys Or Bad Boys?)

Susan Z

Susan Z Rich is an emotional addiction counselor, spiritual intuitive and holistic therapist. She counsels others to see life in a more positive way and teaches personal accountability for life choices. She is also the author of several children’s books and Soul Windows…Secrets From The Divine.